Why Healing Feels Harder Before It Gets Better

When Meera first came to me, she carried a quiet heaviness.

On the outside, she looked like the dependable one — always there for others, never creating conflict, forever agreeable.

But on the inside, she felt invisible. Years of people-pleasing had eroded her confidence, and she often whispered:

✨ “No one really listens to me. I don’t even know if I have a voice of my own.”

Like many women, Meera thought healing would mean learning a few techniques to feel calmer and more confident. She imagined:

🌙 Peaceful meditation

📖 Gentle journaling

💬 Uplifting affirmations

But the reality was different: once she started her healing journey, things got heavier before they got lighter.

Her outer world began to mirror her inner shifts.

• Relationships she thought were “good for her” started falling apart.

• Friendships felt shaky.

• Family dynamics grew tense.

Her carefully balanced world suddenly felt chaotic.

On top of that, she found herself:

💧 Crying at unexpected moments

⚡ Snapping at people she once stayed silent with

😔 Feeling waves of exhaustion that made her wonder, “Am I getting worse instead of better?”

But here’s what Meera — and so many of us — learn along the way:

👉 When healing truly begins, the parts of you that have been suppressed for years finally come to the surface. And that can feel messy.

Shadow Work Before Breakthroughs

One of the hardest steps for Meera was shadow work — looking at the hidden parts of herself she had always avoided.

For her, the shadow was the anger and sadness she buried under “being nice” and “keeping the peace.”

At first, it scared her.

She worried:“What if people leave me if I stop pleasing them?”

And in many ways, they did.

Some resisted her boundaries.

Others didn’t know how to respond to her speaking up.

It felt like life was falling apart. But in reality, Meera was breaking patterns that had kept her small for years.

💡 Shadow work often looks like breakdown before breakthrough.

For Meera, this meant sitting with uncomfortable emotions instead of pushing them down — and realizing her voice mattered just as much as everyone else’s.

Emotional Detox vs. Avoidance

There were weeks when Meera cried almost every day.

She would ask me:“Why am I so emotional? I thought healing would make me feel strong, not fragile.”

What she was experiencing was emotional detox — years of unspoken hurt finally leaving her body.

The tears, the anger, the exhaustion… they weren’t signs of weakness. They were signs of release.

Here’s the difference:

• ✅ Emotional Detox → allowing feelings, journaling honestly, letting emotions move through her body.

• ❌ Avoidance → numbing with distractions, pretending she was “fine,” or slipping back into people-pleasing.

For the first time, Meera was choosing the harder, braver path — feeling instead of fleeing.

How to Trust the Messy Middle

The hardest part for Meera was the messy middle — that liminal space where she was no longer the silent, agreeable version of herself, but not yet fully confident in her authentic voice.

She described it as:

✨ “Standing between two bridges. I can’t go back, but I don’t know where the next one leads.”

This stage tested her patience. Doubt crept in:

• “Am I making life harder by setting boundaries?”

• “Am I too difficult now that I’m not agreeable?”

But slowly, she began to notice small shifts:

🌸 The relief of saying no without guilt

🌸 The pride of sharing her ideas at work and being heard

🌸 The warmth of realizing the right people respected her boundaries

The messy middle felt endless — but it was proof that transformation was underway.

Like a caterpillar in a cocoon, Meera was dissolving the old version of herself so something freer could emerge.

Meera’s journey reminds us of a truth: healing often feels harder before it feels better.

The chaos, the tears, the unraveling — they’re not signs of failure.

They’re signs of transformation.

So if you find yourself where Meera once was — doubting, exhausted, wondering if you’re falling apart — remember:

💚 You are not breaking down, you are breaking free.

If Meera’s story resonates with you, and you’re ready to begin your own journey of healing, I invite you to take the first step.

Book your free clarity session — let’s explore what’s weighing on your heart and how you can move toward your breakthrough.

With Love

Devika

Inner Voice Activator